My fellow Americans…
I was governing the world from the 14th tee
When I first got a briefin on the tragedy
Rummy shrugs “Shit happens I guess –
What’s one Louisianan more or less?”
So I weren’t in a hurry to launch no boats
'save some poor nigger democrat vote,
But Jeb says “Junior, better help your pals –
Save Our Sinkin Shopping Malls,
You Gotta Shoot the looters in the shopping malls!”
So I put on a show for the TV Screen
But the Liberal lynch-mob treat me mean,
Said I fiddled while the twin towers fell,
Now I’ve gone and lost a whole city as well!
Well I remember Billy Clinton’s crew
- House of cards when Monica blew!
I got Katrina lickin my toes…
And the polls going down as the waters rose!
Yeah I’m taking a dive as the waters rose!
So I called the governor of old England,
'said, “This ain’t no bombing that the boys had planned,
I dunno who dunnit, but if I can
I wanna blame those Ayatollahs in Iran!
Deputy Tony says “Whoah there George!
I’d like to join the posse but I’m not so sure…
Satellites telling me something odd -
Sayin’ that Katrina was an act of God,
Yeah – ‘s telling me the hurricane came from God
So I went to the pastor of my church
I say “ Why does the Lord make the christians hurt?”
Pastor says “Let Justice rain!
The Lord’s just flushing out a sewer drain!
“Good christian folk don’t feel remorse
If the God of Love kills fags and whores”
-I said “Gommorrah can go to hell…
But why d’he have to hit my oil wells?”
Said, “Why d’he have to hit the oil as well?”
“I’ve been beatin’ up Allah for him in Iraq –
when The Lord come sneakin behind my back,
With a hurricane, drought and a twister too,
Like he don’t give a damn about me and you!”
Pastor says, “Now brother, don’t you cuss!
“The ways of the Lord are mysterious.”
I said, “Well it ain’t no mystery
What happens to the powers that mess with me!
- Lord gonna wish he never messed with me…”
So I told my team at the Pentagon
“We’re gonna take Jehova on!”
They said “How we gonna do it Mr President,
When He’s omni-present and omni-potent?”
“Well He can run, but He can’t hide
if we’ve got all His enemies on our side.
- Get Allah on the phone and tell the media
We wanna coalition with Al Qaeda…
He may be all-seeing but I don’t care
We got eye-in-the-sky cams everywhere,
He’s layin low in some church no doubt
Bring on the hell-fire – smoke him out!
(Watch out Watch out, there’s a Bible about…)
In the Bible-Belt where the Donkeys nod
I was hot on the trail of Jehova-God
At a Gasoline-stop, Route 62,
A long-haired hippy says “Can I help you?”
He was fillin’me up when I recognised
The sandals, beard and the Woodstock eyes –
I said, “Tell me where Jehova’s been
Or you gonna die for your daddy’s sin yeah,
We gonna crucify you again…”
Round up the followers of JC
Set the boys in Guantanamo free
Mohammed is welcome on America’s soil
Cos he kills less people and he’s got more oil!
There were 15 swat teams with us that day
Ready to blow his halo away.
He just smiled real peacably
“This ain’t no act of my daddy or me -
Atmosphere is a bubbling stew
Boiling over with the CO2
The only Spirit that you need to fear’s
Petroli Spirit that you’re burning here
And every drop brings apocalypse nearer
Who took the carbon out of the ground?
Lit the fire and drove it round?
You didn’t wanna keep Ky-o-to
-Reap the whirlwind that you sow!
(And would you like a coffee to go?)
Sorry son, but you’ve cooked your goose –
This revelation’s not much use.
You wanna fight with the leading primate
Playing Poker with the climate – I’m it!
I blame my maker, you blame me,
Make me my own enemy –
I’ve got intelligence overload,
And I think my brain’s about to explode…
Allah I’m coming and I know how
Got my finger on the button of apocalypse now
Please forgive me if you can,
Mr.President George W. Islam,
A suicide atomic-bombin Taliban,
Burning Bush is what I am
Mr President George W. Islam!
The suicide atomic-bombin Tali – BANG!